Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
