is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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