party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
