Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
