Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
