On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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