im holly from the hills drunk
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
