OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
