i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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