Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
