my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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