his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
