I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh god it's open bar.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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