If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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