Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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