Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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