I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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