census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
