oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
