that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
