Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
