Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need to calm my uterus...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
