i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
