Please, let me fuck your mom
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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