Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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