first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
