But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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