Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
