Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
