WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
