I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
me + whiskey = a bad person
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
