well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
