is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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