thus making me awesome and them whores
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
