babies were throwing up all over the place
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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