she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
