Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
