her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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