I hate all girls vehemently.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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