i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
