do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
