smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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