he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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