3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
