Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You can't special order awesome
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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