Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
