Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
