Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
