omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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