real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
