How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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